Welcome to Hangover Haven!

Seattle loves their citizens of diversity. They love them so much that instead of offering programs to get them to stop drinking, they are building a home for them so they can drink themselves into a stupor more comfortably.

Hey, you say you're an alcoholic with no ambition? Why, you'll fit right in, you brain cell life-snuffing warrior! I haven't met a drunk yet WITH ambition, so you'll feel all warm and fuzzy around these folks. Don't wanna get on a program so you can stop drinking and be productive? No problemo, my stinky friend! You don't have to be on any program... in fact, we encourage you to embrace your disability! After all, it's not your fault! It's a disease! That's right! You had no choice. It's like cancer, alcoholism is. It can attack at any moment. Just like a rabid cat. You don't wanna be attacked by a rabid cat, now do you? Oh, no sir. There aren't any around at the moment... those are just the DTs.

All those people who claim to be in recovery, some for 50+ years and have lived productively ever since they stopped drinking? Nah, they're just fooling themselves. All those years of taking care of themselves, being a good and productive member of society... even helping others, it's all a joke. Don't pay any attention to them.

Here we are... Hangover Haven. It looks a bit run down now. No sir, we didn't choose that color for carpeting. That's real barf there! Hmmm... someone had Spaghetti O's for dinner!

I remember when this place was brand new... it seems like only yesterday... wait... it WAS only yesterday! But never mind that.

Yes! You heard right! You can live here rent free! You only need enough money to drink yourself stupid. Where do we get the money from? Don't you worry your swill-filled head about that. There are these magical creatures called Tax-Payers that deficate this money every day.

Enjoy your stay.